Dating

I find it very ironic how a guy can chase a girl for years and keep the desire and the pursuit to be with this person and as soon as the chase is over, for the better, (well for the guy at least ;) ) It seems as if he doesn't care. It is because the mystery is gone, the challenge is over... there is nothing to figure out. When you think about it, what is so confusing? I guess its all about getting what we want. When I like a girl the things that makes it confusing for me is just not asking the other person how the feel. We are all afraid of rejection and failure and we want to do whatever we can. Its our own feelings that we are worried about. If i asked my crush, or whatever you want to call this person, what she thought of me, my misery would be wiped away in an instance. well, actually, no... if she said what i want her to say, it would make my worries go away but if shes says otherwise, i'll go into an even worse depressive state and result into listening to Bad Day by Daniel Powter for the next month. The reality of the possibility of this disappointment is too much to make most guys to let everything be. But what are we doing by doing that? Why can't we just do what we want and not be afraid to do what we want to do? I feel that I have to obey a code in order to get a girl and it is about the most frustrating thing i have to deal with. Through out my up and down "career" with dealing with relationships i have learned not to seem too desperate. Therefore, that is my main rule in my code is, when you are with the girl you like never seem to be overly in love with her and make it very distinct. I believe this causes her to get afraid and shy away from you. But i am questioning my whole code in its self. Why not just let your feelings show, regardless of what the other person thinks..? I don't know how to answer these questions, i just know it would be a lot easier if we cared for what they want or think rather than what we want, whether it is a relationship or anything else in life.